Without Me: A Pip Bernadette Rap
by Police Girl11
Summary: The hellspawn of Eminem and a one-eyed, often neglected gun for hire. Song-fic of sorts, if rap were song.


Two heavy armed ghouls go round the outside;

round the outside, round the outside

Two heavy armed ghouls go round the outside;

round the outside, round the outside

Who is that?

That again?

Braid and patch?

Police Girl friend?

Who is that? Who is that? Who is that? Who is that? Who is that? Who is that?

They created a monster, cause nobody wants to see Bernadette, naw.

They want Alucard, I'm chopped liver

Well if you want Alucard, this is what I'll give ya--

A little bit of the bird mixed with a swift kick to ya.

Some vodka to jump start my night job off quicker

than the shocks when I get knocked into the hospital

with the doctor when I'm not up to some co-operating.

When I'm rockin the chasbah while he's operating.

I've waited this long, now stop commiserating

Cause I'm in black and white and your not compensating

I know that you got a job Mr. Hirano

but your mercenary's lime light needs illuminating!

So someone just won't let me be

or let me be me, so let me see

I'm not even a cameo in an AMV

Hellsing is just so empty without me!

So, come on! And gimme a kiss on the lips

Seras Girl, come on wiggle your hips, PxS is what I ship.

Now I'm ready, to make this love o' mine canon and seen-

I'm just waitin' for fan fics, f you Joleen!

Now this looks like a job for Geese

So everybody, screw civil peace

Cause we need a little bit of zees

Cause it feels so empty, without Geese.

I said-this looks like a job for Geese.

So everybody, screw civil peace

Cause we need a little bit of sexy zees.

Cause it feels so empty, without Geese.

Little Hellions, people feelin' rebellious

Suckin blood of their parents, bein spotted like Elvis

They start takin' prisoners makin' em feel helpless

'til someone comes along on a mission and yells BITCH!!!

A visionary, vision of scary

Need to stop the devolution shootin' up dead kids.

I'm a rebel, so just let me bitch and be crass

at the fact that everyone at Hellsing missing my cute ass.

And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe

for you can't see so damn much of ol P-I-P; you asked for me?

I need to attack!

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Buy your damn manga read in on me and then I'm gonna

enter in, under your skin like a sharp fine splinter

Be center of attention, back for the rest of the winter

I'm interesting, the best thing since trump of Hellsing.

Investing in your manga master PB here so-

Testing, attention please!

Feel the anticipation, soon as someone mentions me

Here's my ten cents, the next two cents are free

A mercenary, who sent? You sent for me?

Now this looks like a job for me

So everybody, just notice me!

Cause we need a little Frenchie

Cause it feels so empty without me

I said-this looks like a job for me

So everybody, just notice me!

Cause we need a little Frenchie

Cause it feels so empty without me

I know what I've been told, I go tit for tat with

anybody who's followin' Major, that shit.

Incognito, you sure got your ass kicked

worse than those little Valentine bastards

And Doc? You can just French my glock.

You too, Rip Van Winkle you larva, blow me.

You don't know me, you don't exist yet too-

Why the f do they not know me, but you?

Now let's go, just gimme the scene

I'll be there with a whole script full of myself

I been duped and sketched to life with a pencil

ever since Hellsing turned anime, me into a memory.

But sometimes the shit just seems

everybody only wants to forget me

So this must mean I'm just too sexy

But it's just me, and I gotta be me.

I'm not the first pick commander for this dig, man.

The old guy, Fergie and the hard ass Pickman

And poor dead Gareth died in duty

Me? I'm fighting to get anime continuity

Here's a concept that works

Twenty million other commanders emerge

But no matter how many fish in the sea

None of em will be good ol' Pee Eye Pee

Now this looks like a job me

So somebody, just hire me

Cause we need a bit more humanity

Cause Hellsing's just empty without me

I said-this looks like a job for me

So somebody, just hire me

Cause we need a bit more humanity

Cause it feels so empty, without me!

Kids!


End file.
